Why Do You Swim in the Cold?

I swim for OCD.

An obsessive, runaway mind says a million fractured things and doesn't let them go. Cold water says FOCUS. I dare you to think about anything other than THIS. 

I swim for Anxiety. 

Anxiety tells you the world is dangerous. Cold water slaps you in the face and shouts I'LL SHOW YOU DANGEROUS. It shocks your nervous system and realigns your brain's idea of "dangerous." When you get out of the freezing water and back into your comfortable, safe, cozy life, your body relaxes. It relaxes and turns off the adrenaline and cortisol. It finally realizes the difference between dangers real and dangers imagined. When I swim in the day, I sleep in the night. When I don't swim, anxiety often keeps me awake.

I swim for Chronic Fatigue.

Chronic fatigue tells you the battle is lost today. Cold water wakes you up: every sense, every nerve, every fibre of your being.

Grief tells you the world is darkness. Cold water tells you the world is full of fire and life. It surprises a laugh or a shriek out of you as you take that plunge. Your body reacts whether you tell it to or not. The cold steals across your submerged skin, running like shots of electricity between your pores, contracting the small muscles of your body, seeping into your organs, shuddering against your lungs. You hoot or hiss or holler or whuff. You might grin or grimace or scream or laugh. You don't know which will happen. You can't plan it. You can't control it. But you WILL feel it. I promise you.

When Depression tells you there's nothing left to feel, cold water will grab you by the diaphragm, spreading the menthol burn that turns to warmth in your chest. It will snake its tendrils of energy across your surface and through your depths, from your toes to your hairline. It will sear the moment through your foggy mind, so you can look around and see the sky. It will remind you that what is wild is both beautiful and terrible. That you are wild, beautiful and terrible.

Cold water will hold you close whispering, "This, my friend. This is what it is to be alive."